Episode 50: The Sixth Commandment

You shall not commit adultery.

What does this mean? We should fear and love God so that we lead a sexually pure and decent life in what we say and do, and husband and wife love and honor each other.

Chaste and Descent Life

Large Catechism

• “Therefore, this commandment is directed against all kinds of unchastity, whatever it may be called. Not only is the outward act of adultery forbidden, but also every kind of cause, motive, and means of adultery.” LC 1:203
• “To speak in the briefest way, this much is required of you: everyone must live chastely himself and help his neighbor do the same.” LC 1:205

Lust

• “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ ²⁸ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ²⁹ If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. ³⁰ And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell. Matthew 5:27-30
• “Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things and give me life in your ways.” Psalm 119:37
• These words of Scripture clearly speak against pornography, which comes from the Greek word for fornication, πορνία or prostitute πόρνη and γραφή, which means writing or drawing.

Filthy Jokes

• But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. Ephesians 5:3-4

Fornication

• Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Hebrews 13:4
• ² Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (KJV)
• Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

Homosexuality

• Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10

Adultery

• “You shall not commit adultery.” Exodus 20:14
• “If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.” Leviticus 20:20

Marriage

Large Catechism

• “Then they proceed to talk about the person nearest him, or the closest possession next after his body, namely, his wife. She is one flesh and blood with him [Genesis 2:23-24], so that we cannot inflict a higher injury upon him in any good that is his.” LC 1:200

• “But this commandment is aimed directly at the state of marriage and gives us an opportunity to speak about it. First, understand and mark well how gloriously God honors and praises this estate. For by this commandment He both approves and guards it.” LC 1:206

First, God instituted marriage and wraps up all institutions on earth into it.

• “In the first place, He has instituted it before all others. He created man and woman separately, as is clear [Genesis 1:27]. This was not for lewdness, but so that they might live together in marriage, be fruitful, bear children, and nourish and train them to honor God [Genesis 1:28]; Psalm 128; Proverbs 22:6; Ephesians 6:4]. Therefore, God has also richly blessed this estate above all others. In addition, He has bestowed on it and wrapped up in it everything in the world, so that this estate might be well and richly provided for. Married life is, therefore, no joke or presumption. It is an excellent thing and a matter of divine seriousness. For marriage has the highest importance to God so that people are raised up who may serve the world and promote the knowledge of God, godly living, and all virtues, to fight against wickedness and the devil.” LC 1:207-208
  • So God created man in his own image,

    in the image of God he created him;

    male and female he created them.

28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:27-28

• Psalm 128 Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord,
      who walks in his ways!
  ² You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands;
      you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you.

³ Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
    within your house;
your children will be like olive shoots
    around your table.
⁴ Behold, thus shall the man be blessed
    who fears the Lord.

⁵ The Lord bless you from Zion!
    May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem
    all the days of your life!
⁶ May you see your children’s children!
    Peace be upon Israel!

• Train up a child in the way he should go;
      even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
  • ⁴ Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

• “Marriage should be regarded as it is in God’s Word, where it is adorned and sanctified. It is not only placed on equality with other estates, but it comes first and surpasses them all—emperor, princes, bishops, or whoever they please. For both Church and civil estates must humble themselves and all be found in this estate.” LC 1:209

Second, marriage is necessary to prevent sin.

• “In the second place, you must know that marriage is not only an honorable but also a necessary estate. In general and in all conditions it is solemnly commanded by God that men and women, who were created for marriage, shall be found in this estate. Yet there are some exceptions.” LC 1:211
• “Because of great sanctity, they avoid marriage and either indulge in open and shameless prostitution or secretly do even worse, so that one dare not speak of it. Even though they abstain from the act, their hearts are so full of unchaste thoughts and evil lusts that there is continual burning and secret suffering, which can be avoided in the married life [1 Corinthians 7:9]. Therefore, all vows of chastity outside of the married state are condemned by this commandment.” LC 1:214-16

1.     Lifelong Companionship

Marriage is a lifelong union between one man and one woman. This is how God has ordained it.

• 18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” … So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. ²² And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. ²³ Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
    because she was taken out of Man.”

²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:18, 20-24

What type of union is this supposed to be?

• 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
  25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:22-33
• Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
  7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:1-7
• P    [Name of bridegroom], will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony as God ordained it? Will you nourish and cherish her as Christ loved His body, the Church, giving Himself up for her? Will you love, honor, and keep her in sickness and in health and, forsaking all others, remain united to her alone, so long as you both shall live? Then say: I will.

R    I will. 

P    [Name of bride], will you have this man to be your wedded husband, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony as God ordained it? Will you submit to him as the Church submits to Christ? Will you love, honor, and keep him in sickness and in health and, forsaking all others, remain united to him alone, so long as you both shall live? Then say: I will.

R    I will.

Divorce

• 2 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” 5 And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. 6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Mark 10:2-9
• 10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:10-11
• Why does God forbid divorce?
  • It is against His design. See above.
  • For the sake of children!
    • 13 And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. 14 But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. 15 Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” 16 And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them. Mark 10:10-16
    • 13 And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 14 But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15 Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. 16 “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.” Malachi 2:13-16
• Are there any exceptions to Scripture’s prohibition on divorce?
  • Unfaithfulness.
    • 31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Matthew 5:31-32
    • 3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” Matthew 19:3-9
  • Wreckless abandonment
    • 12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 1 Cor. 7:12-16
• Connect God’s prohibition of divorce with Christ’s relationship with His Church from Ephesians 5. Notice how Christ forgives His Bride and holds fast to her.
  • Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
• The youth should be taught young how to find a good spouse, starting with prayer.
  • Large Catechism: “It is the duty of parents and the government to see to it that our youth are brought up with discipline and respectability. When they have become mature, parents and government should provide for them to marry in the fear of God and honorably.” LC 1:218

2.     Chastity

•  10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.” Matthew 19:10-12
• 7 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Corinthians 7:1-9

• Luther
  • “In the second place, you must know that marriage is not only an honorable but also a necessary state. In general and in all conditions it is solemnly commanded by God that men and women, who were created for marriage, shall be found in this estate. Yet there are some exceptions.” LC 1:211
  • “Because of great sanctity, they avoid marriage and either indulge in open and shameless prostitution or secretly do even worse, so that one dare not speak of it. Even though they abstain from the act, their hearts are so full of unchaste thoughts and evil lusts that there is continual burning and secret suffering, which can be avoided in the married life [1 Corinthians 7:9]. Therefore, all vows of chastity outside of the married state are condemned by this commandment.” LC 1:214-16

3.     Children

Scripture clearly teaches that God commands us to have children and blesses us with children.

Scripture speaks of children as a blessing from God, whom He desires us to raise in His ways, so that they too may be saved.

• 28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:28
• 7 And you, be fruitful and multiply, increase greatly on the earth and multiply in it.” Genesis 9:7
• Psalm 127 Unless the Lord builds the house,

    those who build it labor in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city,

    the watchman stays awake in vain.

2 It is in vain that you rise up early

    and go late to rest,

eating the bread of anxious toil;

    for he gives to his beloved sleep.

3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,

    the fruit of the womb a reward.

4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior

    are the children of one’s youth.

5 Blessed is the man

    who fills his quiver with them!

He shall not be put to shame

    when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

• Psalm 128 Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord,

    who walks in his ways!

2 You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands;

    you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you.

3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine

    within your house;

your children will be like olive shoots

    around your table.

4 Behold, thus shall the man be blessed

    who fears the Lord.

5 The Lord bless you from Zion!

    May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem

    all the days of your life!

6 May you see your children’s children!

    Peace be upon Israel!

• Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. Malachi 2:15
• Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, 14 but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:13-14
• And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children Deuteronomy 6:6
• 30 Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” 31 And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” 32 And they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. 33 And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their wounds; and he was baptized at once, he and all his family. Acts 16:30-33

But be careful that children do not become an idol.

³⁷ Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. ³⁸ And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. ³⁹ Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:37-39

Should Christians prevent having children?

• Certain methods of preventing children results in the destruction of life.
  • Abortion: the killing of an unborn child. This is never an option. There may be medical procedures necessary to save a mother’s life that might tragically result in the death of a child. See Page 89 of the Small Catechism.
    • Abortifacient birth control: hormonal birth control may end the life of a child after conception by preventing the embryo from implanting in the uterus. It is important to do proper research into what you are putting into your body for the sake of the health of the mother and potential children.
  • Motive: why do you desire to prevent having children?
    • Talk to your spouse. Tell him/her your fears, concerns, desires, etc.
    • Pray and look at Scripture. What does God’s word say?
    • Health of mother; other risks.
    • Keeping up with the Joneses; Materialism. Matthew 6:25-34

Consider the example of the saints in Scripture who rejoice at the birth of children.

The word matrimony comes from the Latin word for mother, mater, matris, which shows the strong connection with marriage and motherhood.

Conclusion

Large Catechism

• “Now, I speak of this in order that the young may be guided so that they desire the married estate and know that it is a blessed estate and pleases God.” LC 1:217
• “In conclusion… Everyone should live chaste in thought, word, and deed in his condition—that is, especially in the estate of marriage. But everyone should love and value the spouse God gave to him [Ephesians 5:33].” LC 1:219
• “Here you have again precious indeed, many and great good works, you can joyfully boast about them, against all churchly estates chosen without God’s Word and commandment.” LC 1:221
•  

P    Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and before His Church to witness the union of this man and this woman in holy matrimony. This is an honorable estate instituted and blessed by God in Paradise, before humanity’s fall into sin.

In marriage we see a picture of the communion between Christ and His bride, the Church. Our Lord blessed and honored marriage with His presence and first miracle at Cana in Galilee. This estate is also commended to us by the apostle Paul as good and honorable. Therefore, marriage is not to be entered into inadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.

The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for the mutual companionship, help, and support that each person ought to receive from the other, both in prosperity and adversity. Marriage was also ordained so that man and woman may find delight in one another. Therefore, all persons who marry shall take a spouse in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust, for God has not called us to impurity but in holiness. God also established marriage for the procreation of children who are to be brought up in the fear and instruction of the Lord so that they may offer Him their praise.

For these reasons God has established the holy estate that [name] and [name] wish to enter. They desire our prayers as they begin their marriage in the Lord’s name and with His blessing.

Additional Passages concerning the Sixth commandment.

• Numbers 25: Midianite women at Baal of Peor. See also 1 Corinthians 10:8: We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day. 
• 1 Corinthians 5:1-2, 9: Man fornicating with his father’s wife.
• Galatians 5:19-24: Works of the flesh
• Proverbs 5; 6:20-7:27: Solomon’s warning to a young man about the adulteress.

Luther’s Hymn

“Be faithful to your marriage vows;

No lust or impure thoughts allow.

Keep all your conduct free from sin

By self-controlled discipline.”

Have mercy, Lord!  (These Are the Holy Ten Commands LSB 581:7)